


Soldier of Winter, God of Mischief - Villains No More

by debwalsh



Series: Meadowville Memories [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brainwashed Loki (Marvel), Brainwashed bros supporting each other, Family Dynamics, M/M, winter holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:21:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/pseuds/debwalsh
Summary: Steve and Bucky enjoy a good life post-Captain America.  Bucky is still learning to forgive himself for the things he was forced to do as the Winter Soldier, but loving Steve makes everything easier.When their good friend Thor needs some help convincing a certain god of mischief that the mind control of the Mad Titan wasn’t his fault, who’s he gonna call?Yep.  Bucky Barnes to the rescue.  Steve is so proud.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Thor & Loki
Series: Meadowville Memories [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/902994
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95
Collections: Heroes of Winter 2019





	Soldier of Winter, God of Mischief - Villains No More

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not really happy with the title, although I do hear Thor’s voice when I look at it. So maybe it’s not so bad. But I do like the direction this story took. I didn’t use any of the offered prompts, but instead kind of brainstormed something I’d like to see at the holidays - not just families getting together, but families healing. And what better place to start than the dysfunctional Odinsons? And who better to show them the way than the Barnes-Rogers.

Bucky closed the latch on the back of the truck, and turned to survey the remnants of the last farmers’ market of the year.They’d sold out of everything they’d brought from the farm, but they’d more than made up for it with their own purchases - hot house flowers, mead, some home-brewed beer that tasted great with the artisan cheeses they’d gotten from Maude and Flo, jams, jellies, and pickles, winter vegetables, and beautifully stitched quilts, and a new afghan for Bucky’s favorite window seat.

Steve and Bucky definitely did their thing for the local economy that morning.It felt good to be part of something so positive.And he was definitely looking forward to snuggling up with that afghan while catching a sunbeam in his favorite window nook.

Sue him - Bucky Barnes liked his comforts.He had a whole cadre of therapists from over the years who insisted he had a right to them, and a husband who ensured he took advantage of them.So yeah, Bucky Barnes liked soft things, warm spots, and a cushy place to rest his fine ass.

And that fine ass was starting to get a little cold standing by their truck waiting for said husband to show up.Steve’d said he wanted to make one last circuit of the market before they left, but how Bucky could lose that mountain of a man in the midst of the deconstructing market was beyond him.And then his Steve-dar pinged, and he turned to see his big grinning galumpus trotting toward him, his arms wrapped around a big cardboard box.

So Bucky folded his arms across his chest, and schooled his features to be impassive - with just a hint of disapproval - and waited for his errant hubs to explain what in Meadowville he’d managed to find that Bucky had already missed.

“Got the last of Ike and Ada’s cider. Figure it’ll go great heated up with their spice packs.”

Well, okay.Bucky liked hot, spiced cider.And Ike and Ada had the best around.“All right, put it in the back.It’s gonna take us an hour to unload once we get home anyway.”

Steve grinned broader, and reached over the wall of the flatbed and placed the big box in a conveniently empty spot.

Then he turned and placed a sloppy wet kiss on Bucky’s temple.“It’ll be worth it,” he said brightly, and Bucky huffed out a chuckle.

It definitely would.

&&&

They saw the lightning strike when they were still on the highway heading toward their place.“Were we expecting visitors?” Bucky asked from behind the wheel, nodding toward Steve.

“No.Everyone was already here for Friendsgiving.I thought Thor was off-world, to be honest.Well, it’s a good thing we got some more mead, I guess.”

“Break out the good stuff for the Lord of Thunder, why don’t you?We still have a couple of bottles of his Asgardian stuff down in the cellar.”

“We’ll combine ‘em,” Steve suggested with an enthusiastic grin. 

“Just remember to go easy - we don’t need a repeat of the Great Blackout of Your Last Birthday, baby.A super soldier hangover is nothing to sneeze at.”

Steve’s grin faded to a grimace of remembered pain.“Oh, God, don’t remind me.I had no idea it was possible to feel so epically shitty.I’ll pace myself, I promise.Ooh, I hope he’s got Jane with him - we got more of that date chutney she likes.”

Bucky smiled to himself as Steve prattled on.He loved it when Steve got all domestic and shit - so basically, he loved him all the time.Which he’d been doing since before Roosevelt made it to the White House.

&&&

Thor strode over to the truck as they were pulling into the driveway.He looked buff as always, but instead of his normal cheerful face, his brow was furrowed, and his mustache was drawn down around his frown.Bucky waved at him to get out of the way of the truck so he could park, and Thor did a funny little dance step to avoid having his foot run over.

As Bucky and Steve got out of the truck, Thor stepped up to greet them, hands clasped around each other’s elbows as they each leaned in for a bro-hug. 

“I am grateful to find you both at home this fine day,” he announced formally, and Bucky had to smile. Steve’s bookstore and Bucky’s cafe were doing really well these days, and normally they’d have done a quick run at the market and then dashed back to their respective businesses.But they’d decided to take the weekend off to properly savor the final day of the market and get ready for the winter holidays.That meant that their truly excellent staffs were running the places in their absences, and it was all probably going better than it would if they were there.They both had faith in their combined team, and they’d been talking about cutting back on their hours there anyway.Both enterprises were doing well, and they didn’t need either of them on a daily basis any longer.So today was as much a dry run as it was a play day.

Which meant that Thor’s visit was pretty much perfectly timed.They had time enough to spare for their good friend.

But Bucky didn’t put all that into words for Thor.All that mattered was yes, they were free.They started to grab stuff from the truck, and Thor quickly joined in, insisting that Steve and Bucky load him up. So they did.And not to be undone, Steve and Bucky grabbed more than they’d usually balance, so together, they nearly emptied the truck in one go.They never locked their doors, so there was no need to juggle to get out keys, but it was a bit of a struggle to free up enough fingers to grab the doorknob.

So it was kind of a shock to hear a smooth voice say, “Allow me.”

&&&

Loki sat quietly at the table, gaze lost in the swirl of steam off the mug of coffee Bucky had placed in front of him.Thor was settled against the big farm sink, nursing his own mug.Steve was busy at the oven pulling out a tray of fresh cinnamon rolls they’d bought at the market.The kitchen was filled with comforting scents and an odd tension.

“Loki has been certified as completely free of influence,” Thor said soberly.

Bucky glanced at Loki over the rim of his mug and felt a twinge of sympathy.Nice words, but once someone’s tampered with your head, you’re never completely free of their influence.The triggers might be gone, but there’s still the lingering sense of violation, of guilt.Of second guessing decisions, feelings, memories.No matter what your husband might have to say on the matter.

For Bucky, it had been Hydra.For Loki, it had been Thanos.Science or magic, it didn’t matter.The effect was still the same.

Bucky took a step over and laid his hand on Loki’s shoulder, earning him a gasp and a panicked look up from the Asgardian prince.He smiled slightly and squeezed Loki’s shoulder, earning him a frown that morphed into a look of naked gratitude. 

Yeah.He got it.

“Okay,” is all Steve said while he frosted the rolls.

“He is not responsible for what he did while under Thanos’s influence,” Thor added, like he was a defense attorney in closing arguments.Which, Bucky supposed, perhaps he was.

“Brother -“ Loki said then, his tone both affectionate and exasperated.And with a darker tone.Ah.The technomages of Asgard might have deemed him innocent, but Loki himself wasn’t actually convinced.

“And you came to visit because ...?” Bucky prompted, although he was pretty sure he knew why.

“In all the realms, you are the one person I trust to get it through his thick skull that he was a victim, not a villain,” Thor replied through gritted teeth.

Loki looked up at him with an expression that screamed, “See what I have to deal with?” while Steve beamed at Bucky with all the confidence and love at his disposal.Which was a lot.A lot a lot.

Bucky felt kind of warm inside that the legendary God of Thunder thought so highly of him, especially since he often came at issues of good and evil from a pretty cut and dried, black and white perspective.But when it came to Loki, Thor lived in a world colored by complexity,

Love, romantic or fraternal, will do that to a guy.

“Yeah, okay,” Bucky shrugged.He knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince Loki - hell, he might never be able to - but it was something he had to try.Because someone had done that for him.And that someone was looking at him with such love and pride, Bucky thought that one day, he might actually believe it in his marrow.

&&&

“The Chitauri are responsible for the deaths of thousands.”

“If Steve hadn’t got through to me, Insight would have killed millions.Millions, Loki.And we’re not even counting the collateral damage from my kills over 50 years.”

“I -“ his jaw snapped closed as his eyes widened in horror.

“How -“

“Do I live with myself?Day by day.I have to remind myself every day that this is me, not the kills.That the things I did as the Winter Soldier were the will of someone else, someone evil.And as Steve likes to remind me, they had to keep breaking me.Again and again. Every time they took me out of cryofreeze.It’s hard to accept that you can be just erased from existence, but that’s what happened to me.And that’s what happened to you.”

“More than once,” Loki repeatedly thoughtfully.“The times I was summoned back to Thanos -“

“Were to reinforce the programming.Because the real you was starting to slip through.Tell me - at any time during the Battle of New York, did you find yourself questioning?Feel your resolve slipping?Want to change what was happening?”

“I ... yes.Moments.Flashes.And then -“

“Thanos imposed his will.Through the scepter, according to Thor.”

“It was more than the scepter.My Mother ... she discovered an enchantment.On me.Something she’d never noticed before, but she believes it was there when she adopted me.It made me ... susceptible.A ‘gift’ from my birth father,” he added bitterly.

“So ... double whammy.”

“But if all that is true ... who am I?Have I ever been a real person, or just a puppet?”

“Thor was right.I am probably the one person who gets it.I can piece together a lot of what happened when I was under their control - a lot I’d rather not remember, but it’s there.But I also remember that I wasn’t just not in control - I wasn’t even there.I remember it like a camera records what it sees - it doesn’t judge, it doesn’t make decisions, it doesn’t feel remorse or shame.It just does what it was designed to do. In my case, kill.In your case -“

“Destabilize and conquer.Can it really be so simple to accept?”

“Accept?No.Forgive yourself?Again, no.None of these things are simple or easy.But here’s the thing.They’re the right thing to do.Because if you continue to accept blame for what they did through you, then you continue to give them power.Thanos is gone.The Chitauri are gone.They used you and tossed you aside.Hydra, the KGB, the Red Room - they all used me, and when Project Insight launched, the Winter Soldier was meant to die in the launch.There was no glorious future for me.And you can bet your pert little ass that Thanos had no intention of letting you have yours.So screw the motherfuckers and take back your self.It sucks to be a victim.But it’s worse to be an unwilling villain.Now hand me that whisk, willya? I’ve got meringue to whip up.”

&&&

Since the team had assembled at Steve and Bucky’s for Friendsgiving, everyone had agreed they were going to go their separate ways over the winter holidays.Not everyone celebrated Christmas or any holiday at all, and some had other family or friends who might want them to show up on various days. Everyone knew that if they felt the need for family, they were always welcome at Steve and Bucky’s.So no one would be left out in the cold, but no one was expected to show, either.

It made the weeks that Thor and Loki spent with them easier, really.No expectations, no judgments, no veiled threats inherent in the arch of an eyebrow, no pained glances, no revisited trauma.Well, other than what Bucky and Loki shared with each other.

And they did share.They each found not only a willing listener, but a kindred soul in each other.It was true that neither of them might ever fully forgive themselves.But for the sake of the people they loved, each learned to take the first steps.And as Bucky demonstrated to Loki, once that most difficult of steps was taken, it became easier to keep taking steps.It was easier when you had someone reaching for you, encouraging you, willing you to keep going.

And Thor was a good brother in that regard.But it soon became clear to Bucky that he wasn’t quite enough.

“You want to what?”

“Steve, it’s time to meet the parents.”

“You want to invite Odin, the Allfather, and Frigga, the Queen of Asgard for ... ?”

“Lunch.We can make it brunch.Or dinner if you prefer.Hell, I’ll cook for them all day.It’s just that Thor’s great and all, but he’s too easy.He’s forgiven every stupid thing Loki has done since the cradle.He always finds a reason to make it okay.And yeah, their Mom - the sun rises and sets up Loki’s ass for her.But Odin ... ?That dude is tough.”

“That dude is a god.”

“So’s Thor.We don’t stand on ceremony for him.”

“He’s our friend.”

“So? Odin’s our friends’ Dad.Let’s just float it to Thor and see what he says.”

&&&

“I, uh.”

“He’ll never go for it.Father would rather the nine realms wither to the roots of Yggdrasil than forgive me.Just ask Heimdall.”

“Hey, now there’s an idea,” Bucky perked up.“Heimdall sees all, right?So ... ?”

“So why did he not see the enchantment?Or Thanos’s influence while it could still be contained?”

“Because he can see things, places, people.He cannot see the effects of magic.His sight doesn’t extend that far.But Mother ...”

Loki sighed.“Fine.Invite them all.It won’t change anything.”

Steve and Bucky exchanged glances and shrugged at each other.

“I’ll be right back,” Thor announced, and went outside to call down lightning.

“Is he going to the Thor yard, or is he gonna burn my pumpkin patch again?” Bucky asked after a moment, and then hightailed it outside to make sure that Thor was standing in the right spot when he called home.

&&&

The thing about being a superhero, having your brains scrambled by an evil organization hell-bent on world domination, and coming to your senses in a new century and finally being able to marry your boyfriend from over 70 years earlier?It gives the world context.You learn to roll with the punches in a new way, and it takes a lot to phase you.

So, entertaining Asgardian royalty for dinner on a Friday night?

Please, bitch.Nothing compares to Esme Applebaum in full diva mode.Nothing.

Heimdall was a revelation - gorgeous, erudite, and possessed of a kickass sense of humor.Bucky could totally see himself hanging with the gatekeeper of Bifrost.And damn if Heimdall didn’t seem down with that himself.

Odin might be the Allfather and a god in his own right, but he was also a grumpy old man who’d forgotten how to laugh, and who took himself way too seriously.Bucky had to wonder if that was part of Loki’s problem - the thing that made him susceptible and attractive as a candidate for possession and/or mind-wiping.Then again, Bucky had an excellent sense of humor, and George Barnes had been a good-natured, hard-working man.But he hadn’t been a king or a god, and Bucky wasn’t taken by Hydra because of his family connections - he’d just been convenient for Zola, and then when the serum actually took, his value had only increased.

But Loki’s disaffection may have made him a more attractive option, and it might have made him look like he was acting of his own free will, rather than under the influence.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, especially if we have people in our lives who aren’t paying attention, Bucky thought, giving Papa Odin the surreptitious stink eye.Because of course he was going to take Loki’s side.

“You have a lovely home,” Frigga was saying, her face alight with a genuine smile.If Bucky wasn’t happily happy with Steve, he might have swung her way - she glowed with kindness and generosity.It made him miss his own Ma for a heart-wrenching moment.Winnie Barnes would’ve loved Frigga, and he’d like to think the sentiment would’ve been reciprocated.

“It’s really quite remarkable - Steve and Bucky have managed to create a self-sufficient, ecologically friendly concern here.And the people of the area - really quite lovely,” Loki offered eagerly, happy to take Frigga’s hands as she turned to offer them to her younger son.

Odin grunted.“So much energy for such short lives.”

“Actually, Father, Steve and Bucky are what the humans call supersoldiers.They have been dosed with serums activated by arcane energies.They are expected to live quite long lives by comparison to normal humans,” Thor inserted, glancing nervously at Steve and then Bucky.

Bucky was about to snort when Heimdall joined the fray.“I have seen you both over the years.You have done quite well to shake off the yoke of Hydra, Soldier of Winter.You have made a good life together, and you have more than earned your rest.”

“Um, wow. Thank you.So you’ve been watching us?”

Thor glanced at Heimdall in surprise, but he answered soberly, “Heimdall sees all.It is both his blessing and his curse.”

“Perhaps not all,” Loki ventured tentatively.

“You mean the enchantment and the enslavement,” Heimdall noted, nodding.“Yes.I fear I did miss both of these things, and for that I am heartily sorry, Prince Loki.Had I but seen the influence, I could have saved you and many others from subjugation and worse.”

Odin stopped eating and set his fork down slowly, turning his grizzled head toward his gatekeeper.“You mean to say these things are real?”

“My King, yes.Your lady wife has confirmed them.And once they were pointed out to me, I could see them clearly.The Prince was compromised, but never by his own will.”

Loki inhaled sharply, pretty much rearing back in his chair to look at Heimdall.“Heimdall -“ he murmured, his face ashen and slack with shock.

“It is true, my dear,” Frigga noted mildly, patting her son’s hand gently.“Once I recognized the influences, I merely pointed them out to Heimdall, and he could trace them back to the moment you were affected.It was never your fault Loki.Never.”

“Harumph,” Odin grumped into his plate.

“Did you have something you wanted to add, my dear?” Frigga asked, her voice light and soft, but with a core of steel.Mama Bear, indeed.Bucky had to grin, and she glanced at him as though she was expecting it and winked at him.

Odin lifted his attention from the food and looked balefully at his wife, an effect that was amplified by the eyepatch he wore, the battle worn countenance of a king who’d sat upon his throne for too many years.

Damn, but Bucky was waxing poetic tonight.Maybe he should try to write something for the open mic night at the Cafe.Or not.

But Odin was speaking.Meandering.Boring, too.Finally, he said the magic words.“You have my apologies, my son. Come home.”

Frigga beamed. 

Loki stared open-mouthed and a bit shell-shocked. 

Thor roared, “Huzzah!” 

And Heimdall chuckled as he turned toward Bucky.“This fowl is excellent.Might I have some more?”

“Yes, it is quite delightful,” Frigga added.“What’s it called?”

“Chick-en,” Bucky dragged out, glancing wide-eyed at Steve, who hid his own chuckle behind a stage-y cough.Rat bastard.

“Chick-en. Lovely.Do you think ...?”

“I’ll be happy to send you home with leftovers and recipes.”

“Wonderful,” Frigga said then, and her beatific smile made him think it really was.

Loki nudged him gently in the ribs, and grinned up at him through lowered lashes.When he mouthed, “Thank you,” Bucky felt like he’d conquered the Big Bad ... again.

&&&

The Odinsons and Heimdall turned out to be pretty good guests once they got over the whole Loki was never evil thing.Bucky was almost sorry to see them go, but going meant he got cuddles and snuggles, and maybe more.Hell, he’d settle for the cuddles and snuggles.It had been a long day, and he deserved some pampering.So did Steve.

So when Steve came over with spiced hot cider in his favorite mug, and leaned down to kiss the tip of Bucky’s nose, he hummed his approval at his hubs and made grabby hands for the mug.

“I’m so proud of you,” Steve said, sliding in the spot right next to Bucky, dropping his arm around Bucky’s shoulders to draw him closer.Bucky happily settled against Steve’s chest, sipping at his delicious cider.

He smiled as he blew across the surface of the hot liquid.“I’m proud of me, too.See, we shouldn’t be cowed by somebody’s title.Odin’s just a grumpy old god who needed see the truth about his son.He actually looked kind of happy by the time he left.”

“Pretty sure that was your creme brulee.It makes anyone and everyone happy.”

“Maybe I should add it to the roster of feel-good foods at the Cafe.”

“Maybe you should not think about work for a while.We haven’t had a chance to spend any quality time together since the Brothers Odinson moved in.”

“Watchya got in mind, big guy?”

Steve leaned in for a slow, syrupy kiss that made Bucky’s toes curl and his insides go all gooey.When he pulled back, he sighed, his eyes dropping to Bucky’s lips for a moment before he looked him right in the eyes.His big hand lifted up to smooth back an errant curl and he smiled.“Let’s take this to the bedroom, and we can see where that takes us.”

“Oh, I like the way you think, baby.”

Steve just smiled, stood, and put out his hand to Bucky. 

He was learning to allow himself good things.Talking Loki through acceptance of himself, recognizing the lines where consent and abuse intersected, where responsibility ended and manipulation began ... it was sometimes difficult, but it was illuminating, too.He learned to listen to himself all the while, too. So yes, he deserved some pampering.He deserved love and understanding.He might sometimes question if he deserved Steve, but as he let himself be led to their bedroom, he had no question that Steve deserved whatever Steve wanted.And Steve wanted him.So ... he could work with that.

END

**Author's Note:**

> The more I wrote of this story, the more convinced I became that Loki has been a pawn in his own life since the beginning. Don’t you think it’s odd that Laufey would leave his child where Odin could find him? 
> 
> So anyway, I really enjoyed writing this. It helped me resolve the issue of Loki’s complicity for myself, at least.


End file.
